Life

For Such A Time As This.

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

~ Esther 4:14 (NIV)

Have you ever had a moment where you realize that you are right where God wants you to be?

For the last several months, I have wrestled with wondering what God has for me.  I felt a little bit like what I imagine that the Israelites felt when they were wandering around in the desert.  This promise of a land and thinking you are on the path, forced to rely on God for everything — including where your next meal is coming from.  It’s a little bit scary.  But a priceless lesson to be learned.

In this process, I recently found a church that I love.  The people are amazing.  God’s presence is so evident in that place, from the moment you enter the building.  And I attend, when possible, a women’s Bible study.  They were studying the Book of Esther in a study written by Beth Moore.  (Which I HIGHLY recommend!)  And it was just what I needed.

And then I heard this song…it has become one of my most favorite worship songs.  And it fits in perfectly.

Queen Esther was born for a purpose.  Just like you.  Just like me.  And her path was a bit unconventional, an orphan that was raised by her uncle.  To become Queen.  To save her people.

The verse above speaks to my heart.  That I can choose to remain silent and relief will come from someone else.  But me? I will perish.  That’s profound.  That’s the Word of God speaking to my heart and calling me out of my fear.  It’s giving me a choice — do what I have called you to do or someone else will.  But me…I will perish and fail in my calling if I choose to just sit back.  Is it easier to sit back and do nothing?  Yes.  Is it fulfilling? No.

Let’s rewind for a minute…there was a time in my life when I was a bit materialistic (a lot).  Then I endured a year of change.  And now I see life so differently.  I will never own a Hermes Birkin bag.  Nor do I want one (and there was a time that I wanted one soooo bad….or a Fendi B Bag).  That money could buy a well in Rwanda where people die from lack of clean water.  {Living Water International can provide clean and safe water for a year for one person.  For a $1.}    That’s 15,000 people getting fresh water for a year — not dying from things like diarrhea and other illnesses from their current drinking water or it’s me having a really, really cute bag.  I won’t get married in Jimmy Choo’s or a Vera Wang gown.  They are beautiful indeed.  But the needs in our world are so great, that my desire for these things is gone.  I don’t want to make anyone feel guilty for liking, wanting, or having these things.  It’s just not for me.

Back to the point, I have come through these trials to change my heart.  For God to show me His heart for His world.  The people of the world, they don’t need me.  If I don’t choose to follow God’s leading, someone else will go in my place.  I am the one who misses out on all that God has for me.

I was born to do what God has called me to do — serve “the least of these.”  {And for the record, I HATE that phrase.  I can think of who I think should be considered “the least of these” and they are not the homeless, the widows, the orphans, or the poor, but alas…it is how the world thinks.}  And I was born for such a time as this.  God could have orchestrated my life in so many ways…I could have been born in 1673 or in China or to a mother with AIDS or to a king or a million other possibilities.  But He didn’t.  He put me right where I belong.  I don’t believe in accidents, or coincidences,  or luck.  I believe that God places us where we were meant to be and guides us where we are meant to go — if we choose to listen and follow.

Recently, I decided to pursue some avenues that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go down, but others felt that it would “be best” for me and Fiona.  And God promptly closed every single door.  Even ones that I thought would be open.  And doors opened in places that I didn’t know would open.  I’m done trying to figure out my path…I have no idea where I will be a year from now.  Or even six months from now.  And I’m okay with that.  And I’m just going to go, wherever God leads me.

{I love this song…it talks about how I refuse to live apart from God’s plan…perfect!!}

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